Creating Happiness in Style

Happiness, got it right! Totally I got this. Wait, how … hmm ok let me think about this a second. Well I have a lot in my life that I think makes me happy and I feel happy at the core of who I am but I still walk around fairly frustrated on a some (ahem, many) days.

How do you define your happiness? Is it things you do, things you have, experiences, time, giving to others? There seems like an endless possibility of what could make you happy, right? Did you know that you could wrap all those up into five simple styles?

Jennifer Dukes Lee just released a new book called The Happiness Dare. In the book she goes over the five different styles of obtaining happiness. She breaks it all down to the Doer, the Relater, the Experiencer, the Giver and the Thinker. Clearly I could pick mine out already, I knew right away I would end up as a Thinker.


She has an assessment you can take ( to see where you fall for each of the styles and the one you rank the highest is the style in which you find the most of your happiness. You of course can be more than one style but most likely you have one that stands out.

This really got me thinking about how I find happiness every day. This year I was working on a goal of tracking the books I read and reaching for a high goal of 65 books this year. Since I have never really kept tabs on the number of books I read this was a complete guess but I thought it seemed like a fairly large number.


By the end of July I was already over 80. Yes, 80 books in 7 months. Yeah I think I fall in the thinker category of happiness styles. I can so easily dive into a book and just create a space in my head to think through the world created or the situations and scenarios placed by the words on the page and how I may be able to adapt what someone else learned to my life.

Oh, wait I think I am doing that here too. Oh yes, yes I am.

I was so intrigued by what Jennifer wrote for each of the different Happiness Styles and I can see where other people in my life fit in to the different descriptions. This is great because I can use that to help create something happy for them as well. For instance I totally see my husband as an Experiencer so I can use that to thank him for being the amazing and supportive husband he is and surprise him with an opportunity to go and experience something new. He loves going to sporting events, playing in different sports and just getting out there.

Me, that would definitely not get me all riled up and happy but getting to watch him sparks the Giver side of me and my Doer side loves to get the planning of the event put together. Totally a win-win here really. Once the event is all figured out, he is off and getting his Experience and I can sit back and pick up a book in the quiet night.

One of the things that comes in play with reading this book is the actual dare. A dare to get out and do the things that bring the little happy moments each and every day. It could be seeing the flowers at the market and picking them up. Taking a few extra minutes to yourself in the care before picking up the kids. Wearing your new boots on a 90 degree day. Making dessert. Starting or finishing a book. Or even getting a sample of toilet paper in the mail (I have strange children and I apparently need to start buying more toys).

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What can you do today to spark your happiness? How about starting with a copy of this book. Tyndale has graciously provided me with an extra copy to give away. Would you like a free copy of the book to see what your happiness style is? Leave a comment below and tell me what you think your happiness style will be and I will draw a name at random on August 19th.

Pick up your copy today at Amazon 

I received a free copy of the The Happiness Dare by Jennifer Dukes Lee from Tyndale publishers. The links provided in this post may be affiliate links that may provide compensation for any purchases made at the affiliate site at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!

7 thoughts on “Creating Happiness in Style

  1. I wasn’t exactly sure where I’d fall. I figured I could be any of them, so I took the quiz and got the Doer. And that makes complete sense to me! I often find myself doing tasks and having a hard time just sitting back and relaxing, except during nap time. Nap time is usually my chill and watch Days of Our Lives time. Ha! Before kids I don’t think I was as much of a doer though. Makes me curious if your happiness style can change depending on where you are in life


    1. I am not surprised by your style outcome, though I would also expect a higher score in Experiencer for you as well. You have an interesting thought on how your style may change over time. It would be interesting to bring this back out when we get past the small children stage of our lives (NO RUSH there!).


  2. I was surprised to find that I am tied between Experiencer and Giver, but after I thought about it for a while it really made sense to me. As to Karen’s question about how your style might change over time, we certainly evolve but I think we are always the same core person from early childhood.


    1. Melissa, I think the thinkers have the easiest time to recognize their type as they are always thinking about the possibilities.


  3. I am a relater…which make sense to me.. I struggle to find time for me. I would love to find a balance…. I love doing things for my family and friends but I am finding that I need time to relax and just have some “me” time… I usually end up feeling guilty for that though….


    1. Yay! Margie! You are the lucky winner. If you could please send my your mailing information to I will ship your book out to you. I always feel guilty about spending time on me, my husband often has to “throw me out” so that i go for girls nights.


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